called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
