i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize