I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize