therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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