absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
