mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
