Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
