can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
