Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
