Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
