Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
