i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
