i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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