I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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