Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
