i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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