That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
