these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
