I love black thongs
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
