Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This girl is more easily done than said...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
