Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize