Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
