i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
