margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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