WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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