I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Randomize
