I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she pinky promised me she was 18
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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