I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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