Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize