Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
