her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
