IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize