I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
