Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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