dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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