when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
