i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
