and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
