you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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