Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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