its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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