my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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