i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
