Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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