I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
nutella sex= disaster
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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