There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
