billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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