i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize