Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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