Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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