Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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