they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
