After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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