This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
