first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
