I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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