And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
