If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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