You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
