How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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